Bathyscape
AC Firm NautiCare demonstrated it’s Mark I Bathyscape during field trials this Saturday. Recent improvements in technology and streamlining the manufacturing have created a low cost product to allow the everyman to explore the ocean’s deep for a fraction of the price of a commercial submarine.
To meet customer demands and to avoid the inherent pitfalls of the commercial and industrial vehicle distribution chain, AC is proud to announce that they have bought Bed, Bath, and Beyond. AC’s Colonel Pink has said that their core product line will remain, but that certain stores will be re-branded as Dreamscapes, Bathyscapes, and Hellscapes. He also intimated that more investments were coming in line to support the new brand. “We’re doing heavy research into Dream-Catcher-Catchers and Auto-Pentacles for protecting our clientele from some of the more common, weaker forms of demonic life encountered when peeking beyond the penumbra.”
Croctopoodle
AC Scientists successfully combined Alligator Ecstasy with conventional club drugs to form a Croctopoodle, the love child of a Crocodile, Octopus, and Poodle. The pairing occurred at a local Chicago club during an 80′s night. Local patrons confirm scientists suspicions that the moment of conception occurred during Blondie’s new wave hit cover “The Tide Is Right”. Lake Michigan beaches are expected to be teeming with sightings of the new creature as the AC Manufacturing wing start passing out mixtapes at local kennel club, aquariums, and reptile houses.
These custom mermaid tails look like they could be better than the Mark II bathyscape.
Custom Mermaid Tails
Our scientists have reported clinical trials of Alligator Ecstasy going underway. The Nuts and Bolts DIY Dance Party is one of the leading research houses for reptile pharmacology. Their recent biosphere “Pool Party” was set up to perform a cross-discipline of holistic research and experiments.
The trials of Alligator Ecstasy were given to a number of subjects. It appeared that after given the smallest of doses, the alligators emulated human effects on the substance, including feelings of euphoria, uncontrollable smiling, and waves of dancing.
Below we have a photo of two subjects who have decided to hug and dance with a ginger bear.
After hearing of the news, Adventure Capitalist is committing a strong round of funding, both for the manufacture / distribution of the drug, but also for the accompanying sales of alligator pacifiers, scale massagers, and swamp resorts.
Adventure Capitalist is looking for co-backers who are willing to promote a philanthropic delivery of free Alligator Ecstasy to underdeveloped nations whose native alligators are suffering from aggression and depression.
Adventure Capitalist is also funding a round of experiments to use the substance in cross-breeding trials, allowing pairings thought impossible before. Our first breeding trials will be crossing the ancient reptile with MBA students.
Alligator Ecstasy
What: Macroquet: Croquet World Safari
Where: Humboldt Park, East of the Boathouse. Here.
When: Sunday, July 8th, 2pm -5 pm.
Who: Anyone. It’s free.
These folks are offering up a fine documentary in the 2012 winner of Most Adventurous City Award (Detroit).
http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/detropiathefilm/detropia-were-releasing-our-doc-independently
This round of cash->to->adventure fundraising will help this band of scallywags create a junk-boat capable of sailing the River Ohio. I highly recommend this investment, as it will allow river towns to be enriched by a sense of wonder and bring these foolhardy workers near to death at the cost of living.
http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/403675975/the-ohio-river-project
